Jokes

An good excuse for not doing your homework
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this boy who said you weren't the best teacher in the school.

A history joke
Why aren't you doing very well in history?
Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

A history joke
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!

A history joke
-I wish that I was born 1000 years ago!
-Why is that?
-Because there would be 1,000 years of history that I wouldn't have to learn!

Teacher: Class, we will have only a half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!

A history joke
Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich?
Because the poor didn't have anything worth stealing!

Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark?
He fished, but he didn't catch many fish because he only had two worms!

Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon?
Because he was dead!

Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: I learned how to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, I don’t know how to read.

1st Roman Soldier: What is the time?
2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII!

What's white, has wheels and lies on its back?
A dead taxi!

A math joke
-Teacher, I can't solve this problem.
-A five year old child can solve this problem.
That’s why I can’t solve it; I'm 12.

What are you going to be when you finish school?
An old man!

What did you learn in school today?
I didn’t learn enough, I have to go back tomorrow!

Another ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I put it in a safe (caja fuerte), but lost the combination!