My Worst Nightmare
What are you the most afraid of? Are you afraid of monsters? Do
ghosts scare you? Are you frightened by sharks and bears? What if a shark
married a bear and they had children? Would you be afraid of their baby? I would
be very afraid of a baby that was half shark and half bear. But my worst
nightmare isn’t about monsters or bad animals.
My worst nightmare is always about one thing. I have the same bad
dream night after night. I wake up every morning in a panic. Let me tell you
about my nightmare.
I am walking in a dark house. There are no lights. I am alone in
the dark house. I can hear scary sounds that come from empty rooms. Who is
making the noises? Is there a monster in the house? Are there zombies walking
around who will eat my brains? Maybe there is a vampire who wants to drink my blood walking around in my
living room or a crazy serial killer with a big knife taking a shower in my bathroom?
In my dream I walk into my kitchen in the early morning. It is dark
outside. Everyone is asleep…or is there someone else awake in my house? I’m not
afraid of monsters or zombies or vampires but I am very afraid of one thing.
What am I afraid of? I look in my cabinets. I look everywhere in my kitchen.
After a few minutes I understand the horrible, terrible, and frightening truth. I
don’t have any coffee. I ran out of coffee and forgot to buy more. I don’t have
enough coffee for even a half a cup. When I have this nightmare I wake up screaming.
This is why I always have 5,000 kilos of coffee in my kitchen. My
kitchen is almost completely full of big bags of coffee. There is no room to
cook, there is no room for food, and there is no room to do anything in my
kitchen except to make coffee. I don’t care because I sleep better when I have
5,000 kilos of coffee in my kitchen. I don’t have nightmares.
I don't want to talk about this anymore because just thinking about running out of coffee scares me.
What is your worst nightmare?
While you think about that I'm going to go to the supermarket and buy more coffee.
I don’t believe in genies with magic lamps or fairy tales but
sometimes I like to think about having one wish. I never think about having
three wishes because that would be stupid. Only a greedy person would think about
having three wishes. Who would wish for three wishes? Answer: A stupid, greedy person.
I don't want to talk about this anymore because just thinking about running out of coffee scares me.
What is your worst nightmare?
While you think about that I'm going to go to the supermarket and buy more coffee.
A Dream Come True
(sueño hecho realidad)
I don’t believe in genies with magic lamps or fairy tales but
sometimes I like to think about having one wish. I never think about having
three wishes because that would be stupid. Only a greedy person would think about
having three wishes. Who would wish for three wishes? Answer: A stupid, greedy person.
If I could have only one wish I would ask for the dog in my
building to stop barking. The dog lives in the apartment below my apartment. He
barks all day long. He barks seven days a week, week after week, month after
month. I wish he would shut up. I want him to shut his mouth and never bark
again for the rest of his life.If that dog stopped barking that would be a dream come true for me.
“I never had a dream come true until
the day that I met you.”
“Nunca se me había hecho realidad un
sueño hasta que te conocí."