English Valencia: Henry Danger - There's a Musical Curse over Swellview!

There’s a Musical Curse Over Swellview

Henry
(yawns) What?

Charlotte
Henry, you gotta get over here

Henry
Why are you singing?
Why am I singing?

Charlotte
Just brush your teeth and get over here!

Henry
Can you smell my breath through the phone?

Charlotte
What? No! Listen!
Someone put a musical curse over this town

Henry
Really?

Charlotte
Really!

Henry
Has it infected everybody else?

Charlotte
Go downstairs and see for yourself

Kris
Something's going on

Piper
There's a musical curse over Swellview

Jake
I'm stuck in a song

Jake, Kris, Piper
There's a musical curse over Swellview
Captain Man, tell us can you hear us

Jake
I'm doing this against my will

Kris
Yeah!
There's a musical curse over Swellview

Piper
This is so not chill

Jake, Kris, Piper
There's a musical curse over Swellview
Hey, Kid Danger, did you hear us?

Kris
Henry, where are you going?

Henry
I hate to be a jerk
But I gotta go to work
You know, sell the Junk and the Stuff

Kris
But, Henry, haven't you heard
We're singing every word

Jake
Like this

Jake, Kris, Piper
It's totally out of our control

Henry
Sorry, fam, I gotta roll

Jake, Piper, Kris
Not a key change!

Trent
In case you're just tuning in
There's a musical curse over Swellview

Mary
My middle name is Debbie

Trent (Mary)
Good god, Mary!
There's a musical curse over Swellview (Mary Debbie Gaperman)

News crew
Captain Man, Kid Danger, can you save us?

Trent
In other news, a Swellview woman is pregnant
But NOT with what you'd expect—

Frankini
We interrupt this program for me!
Citizens of Swellview, it is I, Frankini the Grand
In case you didn't notice, there's a musical curse o’er the land
My bad. Or good!
'Cause this is the way that it should be
I have control of all of your speakers
I'm blasting a special low-frequency
And now, Swellview is perfect.
Musically extra perfect!
Just like me
Tata for now!

All
Oh no!

Ray
What did I miss?

You'll Never Believe What Happened

Charlotte, Jasper, Schwoz
What are we gonna do?

Charlotte
I’m trying to find Frankini

Charlotte, Jasper, Schwoz
What are we gonna do?

Schwoz
He’s gotta be hiding somewhere

Charlotte, Jasper, Schwoz
What are we gonna do?

Charlotte, [Jasper], (Schwoz)
Henry! [There he is!] (Finally!)

Henry
Sorry it took me so long

Jasper
Ooh, Hen, you’ll never believe what happened

Henry
No, I know.

Jasper
There’s a musical curse over Swellview

Henry
Yeah, I know.

Jasper
And you’ll never believe who did it

Henry
Frankini?

Jasper
Frankini!

Henry
Yeah, I know!

Jasper
Ooh, Hen, you’ll never believe how he did it

Henry
The speakers.

Jasper
He took control of the speakers

Henry
Yeah, I know.

Jasper and Henry
And then put out a weird kind of frequency and now we have to sing

Henry
Jasper!

Jasper
Yeah?

Henry
Thanks for filling me in

Jasper
Sure!

Ray Hates Musicals

Ray
Please, be seated.

When I was a boy
I auditioned for a musical
It was a musical, about cats

Charlotte
Was it Cats?

Ray
It doesn't really matter, Charlotte
I'm trying to tell a story here
Please listen
Thank you

Anyways, on the day of the audition

I wore underwear
Underwear with cats
Like in the musical
That's how I knew this role would be mine stat

Schwoz
What is stat?

Ray
Are you guys done?
I'm kinda pouring my heart out here

Anyways

I meow'd
Oh, I meow'd
Like I'd studied cats at Yale
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow
Meow and I shook my tush like my tush, had a bushy little tail

Jasper
Do cats have bushy tails?

Schwoz
Don't embarrass yourself.

Ray
What's with all the side chats?

Charlotte
It's just that we can tell what happens in the end

Ray
Ha! That I doubt.

Charlotte
You didn't get the role
It went to someone else who tried out

Ray Irregardless.

Charlotte Not a word.

Ray
Ever since that day
I've had a hatred for musicals
So whoever caused this curse

Henry
You know it was Frankini.

Ray
Oh, yeah.

So Frankini

Schwoz
Oh god, I smell a high note. Plug your ears!

Ray
Will paaaaaay!

Schwoz
Ay! That was my favorite vase!

We Hate This Curse (10:04)

The vendors
Ice cream, ice cream
Fresh corn on the cob
I got hot dogs
Beans, pinto beans

Frankini
Listen to them sing
I'm bursting at the seams
They're having so much fun
Do you know what this means?

Goomer
They're hungry?

Frankini
No, they love me!

Goomer
Oh, I'm hungry!

Frankini
Here. Go get some beans
Stop singing, just go!

Piper
Frankini?

Frankini
Well, no need to be star struck, even though the star is here! Well, I just came by to see how much everyone is loving the musical gift that I've graciously given to Swellview! So...

Piper
I'll sing for the group.

We hate it, we hate it
We hate your stupid curse
We're sick of all the singing
And think you're the worst

The vendors
We're sick of all the singing
And think you're the worst

Goomer
That's not what he wanted to hear.

Frankini
I don't understand! How could anyone not find delight in this musical utopia?

Piper
Want an example?

Frankini
Sure!

Piper
These bro guys, these jocks
They're stuck here in your trance
They wanna throw the football
But are forced to dance

The vendors
Instead of playing football
They are forced to dance

Frankini
Well, it's not my fault that some people are boring and don't understand the concept of whimsy!

Enter the Heros (10:43)

Captain Man
Step aside, Frankini!

The vendors
Enter the heroes

Frankini
Well, well, Kid Danger, The Captain
So nice of you to show

Kid Danger and Captain Man
Sorry, but Frankini it is time to go

The vendors
The heroes tell the villain
That's it's time to go

Captain Man
That's right.

Kid Danger
Yeah!

This song leads directly into The Swellview Summer Market Fight.

The Swellview Summer Market Fight

Captain Man
Listen Frankini, we've all had a wonderful magical sing-songy day

Kid Danger
Not

Captain Man
That's right, Kid Danger. I was being sarcastic.

My sidekick and I
Will decide to not fight you
If you make this curse go away

Kid Danger
Hot.

Frankini
Well...

You've stated your case
And I'll swear to your face
You'll stop singing
At eight on the dot

Kid Danger
Oh, great.

Frankini
Not!

Captain Man
Then you'll be fought!

The vendors
The heroes and the villain
Couldn't strike a deal
So they are squaring off to fight
Like, for real
His arm is drawing back
Here comes the punch attack
One, two, three

Frankini
Oh...

Captain Man
I say...

Frankini
Does this happen often?

Captain Man
I think you know it doesn't!

Kid Danger
I got this. Face kick!

Frankini
Sorry boys,
But you don't have a chance
The only fights in musicals
Are fights through dance

The vendors
They cannot hurt Frankini cuz--

Kid Danger
We got it! We got it!

The vendors
Sorry

Frankini
Oh! Also, before you try to shoot me with those little lasers...
All weapons in musical theater are props!

Captain Man and Kid Danger
That... does it!

The vendors
At this point
They should know that fighting will not work.
They'll have to find another way
To beat this jerk
Frankini set the rules
Our heroes look like fools

Frankini
Listen, I could do
This little song and dance all day
But I could use an intermission
Just like on Broadway

Goomer!

Goomer
Me?

Frankini
Catch me!

The vendors
Exit the Villain!

Captain Man
All right, we defeated Frankini and he ran away! 'Cause we defeated him.

The vendors
Not true and you know it

Captain Man
All right, fine.

That's Why You Have Us

Doodly-doo 13:40

Ray
Hey Schwoz, what are you doing right now?
Something super smart, I bet.

Schwoz
Aww, well.
I’m hacking into the mainframe
So we can go find what’s-his-name
Using this appliance, science science science
Breaking only one or two laws

Ray
It really is impressive, how else can I express it?

Schwoz
Aww!
That’s why you have a Schwoz

Ray and Schwoz
Doodlee-doo

Jasper
Doodlee-doo?

Henry
Yeah, what’s with you?

Ray
The more you compliment ‘em, the faster they’ll work. Watch.
Hey Char, bet you’re pretty close to tracking Frankini down, huh? My little genius.

Charlotte
Aww, well.
I did a scan of the whole town
The night that everything went down
Soon I’ll know the source, and after that of course can
Show you on the map of the star

Ray
Man, you are amazing. Really trail blazing!

Henry
I really like your brain dude, truly is insane dude!

Jasper
And not being sarcastic, your hair looks fantastic!

Charlotte
Aww!
That’s why you have a Char

Ray and Charlotte
Doodlee-doo

Henry
Well, how do you know if you compliment them, they’ll work faster?

Charlotte
Done!

Ray
A-Doodlee-doo.

Meet Me Here Tonight

Frankini
Hey boys!
Nice running into you at the park
What a show
Exclamation mark!

Kid Danger
Mind if I?

Captain Man
Go for it.

Kid Danger (Captain Man)
Cool.
Hey, Frankini, not a fan (Yeah)
So Kid Danger and Captain Man (Yeah)
Are gonna find a way to make this curse kerplop (Yeah)
Hey dude? (Yeah)
You gotta stop! (Yeah)

Captain Man
Yeah, you know, as I was doing it, it felt kind of annoying.

Frankini
Anyways.
You tried to punch me yesterday
But Frankini don’t play that way
So if you wanna fight, then you’ll do it for show
Here’s how it’s gonna go.

6, 7, 8!
Meet me here tonight
We’re gonna have a singing fight
You can bring anyone you know
Out-sing me and the curse will go

Ray
Did I hear you wrong?
You and us are gonna fight by song?

Frankini
But you can bring a friend with you
Out-sing me and the curse is through
And we’re gonna livestream it
It’d be a shame to do it alone
Yeah, we’re gonna livestream it
To the swell-viewers at home
Well, well, well, meet me here tonight
We’re gonna have a singing fight
You can bring anyone you know
Out-sing me—

Goomer
Vocalizing

Frankini (Goomer) [Kid Danger and Captain Man]
Shut up, Goomer!
Out-sing me (Yeah)
Out-sing me
And the curse will go [No, no, no, no]
K, thanks, ‘bye

Breaking News

Trent
We've got breaking news

Mary
I'm Mary Debbie Gaperman

Trent
That's not the breaking news
It's about the musical curse we've been captured in
Listen to these people who

Mary
Saw Captain Man as he ran

Trent Just Today!!

Mary Take it away, witnesses!

Vendors
As we were driving to our shifts at the park
We saw the Captain in a mood most dark
And we could see that he was trying to flee
He went beyond the Swellview border!

Mary
Bravo!

Trent
Mary Debbie Gaperman, do you know what this means?
Frankini cursed the town and Captain Man has fled the scene!

Mary
That does sound bad

I Heard A Little Rumor

Frankini
Sorry, Trent and Mary. This is the last time I'll be interrupting your program... maybe.
Five, six, seven, eight!

I heard a little rumor
Captain Man has left the city
His timing is a mess,
I mean it really is a pity
See I challenged him to fight with me
Through song to end the curse
But now he's skipping town
So flaky, the worst
Canceling on me you see
For that i will not settle
So Captain Man if you don't show tonight
I'll change the curse
To thrash
Metal!!!

Trent
Oh, thank god.

Mary
That was fun!

Time For Lunch

Piper
The table's set

Kris
Bring the baguette

Jake
Let's eat while the soup's still wet

Jake, Kris, Piper
It's time for lunch
Lunch!

Piper
Can you pass the salt?

Kris
I do not have the strength

Piper
This musical exhausts me

Kris
I'd go to any length no make it stop

Piper and Kris
Make it stop

Jake
Oh, pish-posh.
If you to change your mood
Just listen to this dude
As I recall my bygone and theater student days

Piper and Kris
Oh, god.

Jake
During my time at Julliard
I learned things every day

Kris
Honey, it was one online class.

Jake
Well, be that as it may
On that online schoolyard
We'd sing and dance and play
And I'll always remember the thing my professor would look at us and say
It doesn't matter if you can sing
Or if you can't
To make yourself smile
To sing for a while
About the things you want

The Want Song

Piper
I want a pony, a cruise on the Caribbean sea
A new car

Jake
Oh, I regret this immediately.

Piper
I want a jewel, like a rare one that’s never been found
Dad!

Jake
What?

Piper
Why aren’t you writing this down?
That’s what I want
Yeah, yeah, yeah
That’s what I want
Cruise, car, and a pony
What I want
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Ask and ye receive
That’s what I want
What, what?

Jake
Okay, this is all a bit extravagant

Piper
Extravagant?
That’s what I’m gonna name my pony!

Piper and Kris
Word!

Jake
Word?
Honey, you’re on her side?

Kris (Piper)
Hecks yeah, I am! You got yourself into this mess, buddy. And it’s Mama’s turn.
I want a purse, a kimono, one that costs a ton
You know, I also want a pony (Right?) So fun!
Ooh, an emerald necklace
That would take the cake

Jake
I got you one last year!

Kris
It was fake.
That’s what I want
Yeah, yeah, yeah
That’s what I want
Kimono, emerald, pony

Piper
That’s what I want
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Piper and Kris
Ask and ye receive
That’s what I want
What, what?

It'll Be Great - The list of singers 27:57

Charlotte
Hey, good news!
Henry just sent me a text that says
Thumbs up, I got Ray

Jasper and Schwoz
That’s great.

Charlotte
That’s great?
Is that all that you guys have to say?

Jasper
Sorry, we just finished our list of singers to come help Captain Man and Kid Danger song-battle Frankini—

Jasper and Schwoz
And it is awesome!

Charlotte
Oh, cool. Anyone I know?

Jasper
Oh, I think you’ll recognize a couple names.

Schwoz
Yes, a few might ring a bell.

Jasper and Schwoz
Lady Gaga and Madonna, Harry Styles, Ariana Grande, Beyoncé, Adele!

Charlotte
What?

Jasper and Schwoz
Lady Gaga and Madonna, Harry Styles, Ariana Grande, Beyoncé, Adele!

Charlotte
Well, I know how this is going to go

Jasper and Schwoz
No!
It’ll be great, it’ll be grand
Charlotte, don’t you understand
Celebrities love helping our cause
So applaud your brilliant boys, Jasper and Schwoz!

Jasper
So, you gonna clap for us?

Charlotte
No.

I Know the Perfect Singer (13:31)

Jasper
Wait, guys! I know the perfect singer

Schwoz and Charlotte
Who?

The Bro Song

Ray
Oh, God, please don't tell me you're about to sing a pump-up song, ‘cause it's not gonna work.

Henry (Ray)
Remember when you took the Toddler, bro (Bro)
You put that baby to bed (Please don’t do this)
The Time Jerker, Drex and Minyak, bro (Bro)
Get out of your head

Ray (Henry)
It's just that this one cuts me to the core (I know)

Henry
But now’s the time to meow,
It’s the time to roar
’Cause you’re Captain Man
You are the best

Ray, Soundtrack Version/Ray, Episode Version
I do appreciate the compliment/Give it up, give it up, Henry

Henry
You’re Captain Man
And I will not rest ‘til I see you try to win, baby
Captain Man
We're gonna see
How super a hero can be

Ray (Henry)
That was a cool fight on the train though (Bro)
Bro
Just sayin’

Ray and Henry
I mean it really was insane though
Bro, bro, bro
We had a fight atop a literal train

Henry
We're gonna win again this time somehow

Ray
I do have a beautiful voice

Henry
He's gonna hear you roar

Ray
He's gonna hear me meow

Henry
’Cause you're Captain Man
You are the best

Ray
I'm not gonna fight you on that one

Henry (Both)
You're (Captain Man)

Ray
And I'm gonna test
If I'm the best that I can be, baby

Ray and Henry
Captain Man
We're gonna see

Henry
How super

Ray
A super duper

Henry and Ray
How super super duper duper
A hero can be

Ray
Meow with me

Henry
Wait, what?

Ray
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

Henry and Ray
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow

Meow

More Breaking News (35:24)

Trent
There seems to be no end to this musical curse over Swellview

Mary
That's right co-host, Trent. I've been singing like la-di-di-do-di-do

Trent
Stay tuned, cause real soon.

Mary
Frankini will appear on this screen here!

Trent
To live stream!

Mary
I once had a dream I was Oprah!

Trent
Sweet lord, Mary. Sometimes I...

The Fight Song (35:53)

Captain Man, Kid Danger, Piper
Fight song
Fight song
This is the fight song
This is the fight song
This is the fight song
There will be fighting in this song
Fighting that is done through song

Goomer
Round 1